"[I] put on my beautiful blue velvet shirt and kofi hat. I was dressed beautifully, very respectably, and proudly, as an African. As I was going on stage the owner of the club, Harold Kanter, stopped me and said, ‘No, no. You gotta change. You gotta put on what they wear there.” Shirt with no sleeves, trousers rolled up, torn and tattered, straw hat—plantation stuff!…So here I was broke, ready to be thrown out of my hotel. He tells me, “Either wear that or you don’t get the gig.” I tell him, “I’m not going to go on and do that.” Because that is what belittles Africa. In my country we don’t do that, dress like that, unless you are a farmer…So Harold says, OK. And I played like I was full of fire. I was full of fire. I played like I had never played before and the whole place was aflame with the spirit of Africa."
"Lemme tell you something. I gotta be fair. That Ignatius was okay until that big dog of his died. He had this big dog useta bark right under my window. That’s when my nerves first started to go. Then the dog dies. Well, I think, now maybe I’ll get me some peace and quiet. But no. Ignatius is got the dog laid out in his momma’s front parlor with some flowers stuck in his paw. That’s when him and his momma first started all that fighting. To tell you the truth, I think that’s when she started drinking. So Ignatius goes over to the priest and ax him to come say something over the dog. Ignatius was planning on some kind of funeral. You know? The priest says no, of course, and I think that’s when Ignatius left the Church. So big Ignatius puts on his own funeral. A big fat high school boy oughta know better. You see that cross? That where it all happened. He had about two dozen little kids standing around in the yard watching him. And Ignatius had on a big cape like Superman and they was candles burning all over. The whole time his momma was screaming out the front door for him to throw the dog in the garbage can and get in the house."
A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole.
Amazing monologue—sad, funny, and offers a dense chunk of information about the main characters, Ignatius and his mother, when the novel is nearly over.